Not Goodbye
by Lily Grace
Summary: Faramir's and Éowyn's thoughts during her death. FaramirEowyn


_Inspired by the song '__Kite__' by U2._

Éowyn

_Something   
Is about to give  
I can feel it coming  
I think I know what it is._

With all the heartache, pain, and hurt we have gone through, we were lucky to find each other. Faramir, my beloved, I thought my cage would stifle me. I thought there was nothing to live for. I could never imagine the pain you bore your entire life. My caeg was a prison, your cage was a death penalty. You have the greatest heart of anyone I've ever had the pleasure to know. The greatest mind. You gave me the greatest life because you felt I deserved nothing less.

_I'm not afraid to die._  
I never realized, during the heat of battle, how scared of dying I truly was. I thought my life would end at Pelennor. I was expecting it. I was not ready as yet. I am only ready now because I am complete with you here. Now that I am ready to die, unafraid, I do not want to.

_And hardness, it sets in._  
I was cold. I was stern as steel. I was a blade, sharper than the one which I wielded. I cared not who I hurt. I cared not if I hurt. And I did. How is it possible, that one so cold as I, who hated the world, who wanted to die, was blessed by knowing you, Faramir? The Valar took pity on me. They saw fit for me to live. For you to heal me. I am no longer cold as steel. I am a loving wife and mother.

I see you smiling lovingly at me. There are tears in your beautiful blue-grey eyes. You say over and over how much you love me. It is difficult for me to speak, but not for my heart. The love I have for you, Faramir, is unimaginable. You say you don't want me to die, that you cannot live without me.

_I want you to know  
You don't need anyone  
Or anything at all_

If only I could say it, my love. If only I could come up with the right words to tell you what you have meant to me before I slip away from this life. Let the wind lead you on whatever path you feel is right. Be strong, my love, do not let anyone break you. You are too precious to be broken. Too precious...

This is not goodbye, Faramir. No, it is not. I will never leave you. I love you, and death cannot destroy love.

_I don't know  
Which way the wind will blow  
Who's to know when the time has come around  
Don't want to see you cry  
I know that this is not goodbye_

Faramir

_It's summer, I can taste the salty sea  
There's a kite blowing out of control on the breeze  
I wonder what's gonna happen to you  
You wonder what has happened to me_

Your life has been so precious to me, Éowyn. You became my reason for living. I became storng because of you. You have told me that because of me, you feel free to live. Because of you, I feel free to love. Your faith in me has allowed to me became strong. I have grown in spirit along with you, my love. You did not realize it, but I did. You have told me I saved you. You saved me, Éowyn. You saved me.

_I'm not afraid to live_  
I used to be. I used to be so afraid of everything. I feared my father's wrath, dishonoring my family, letting my country down...Meeting you gave me the strength to go on. The strength to have pleasure in my I like to do. I cannot bear to not have you in my life.

I have tears in my eyes. I smile at you through all my heartache. I can read your heart. You are no longer afraid of life, like myself. And, for once, you truly do not fear death. You give me a weak smile. Your strength is diminishing, biut your love is not. You try to speak, but cannot. Do not worry, do not be troubled, my wife. I know what your heart is saying to me.

_I want you to know  
That you don't need me anymore_

It is alright to let go. You used to need my support. I gave you my love, and your heart overflowed to me. You do not need me anymore. What counts, what makes the difference though, is that you want me. I am going to have to go on without you, not needing, but wanting. Look down on me from the heavens, my love. Let the sky show brightly when you find joy.

_I'm a man  
I'm not a child  
A man who sees  
The shadow behind your eyes_

The shadow that used to be. The shadow is no longer. Our love will reamin eternal. No goodbyes, only an eternity of our love.

_I don't know  
Where the wind will blow  
Who's to know when the time has come around  
I don't want to see you cry  
I know that this is not goodbye_

Not goodbye.


End file.
